Yes, it is quite early but it's okay. We all know that my hours tend to vary so I figure my being awake at 4:30 in the morning shouldn't shock you too much!

I had an.. interesting session with my horse yesterday morning which ended with her FLYING away from me when I took the halter off. I realized quite a few things last night/this morning which has led to some theories..

1. My horse is no longer spooky, jumpy, or nervous.
2. *I* am all of those things.
3. I am treating my TOTALLY in control Introvert like an out of control Extravert because of how extraverted her movement becomes. But her state of mind and reasoning is totally different which is why we're not making any progress and I'm not connecting with her.

At one point yesterday she was refusing to move and I read her as LBI ("Oh darn, it would appear that my rope has caught on one of these unfortunately placed barrels. It seems I'll have to break this pattern and go the other way....What a pity.") So, I pulled out an arrow.. and what I assumed happened "for no reason" became clear to me today..
I automatically labeled it as one of her random, out of nowhere.. LBE fits of "I HAVE TO MOVE!" but I now see it was a total. "Take your pattern and shove it. I'm not doing this anymore and you can't make me."
I thought she wanted to move mostly because she used to switch from Introvert to Extravert all. the. time.
So I tried "Alright, you want to move? Then move!" Which to her was "Well, I'm going to make you do it anyway." hence the huge explosion that followed.

Now that I feel like I've figured this out, I'm not sure how to continue. To make things worse, the fact that I'm so overreactive, jumpy and nervous.. she steps right in as leader and takes complete control.

So, I've decided to experiment with my energy and body movement when I'm not with my horse. I'm going to play point to point 'in my skin' as Linda would say, while I'm walking around doing things during the day. I'll bring up my energy and focus on the point I'm going and how I'm moving and when I arrive at my destination I'll relax everything. I figure it'd be good to help me towards becoming conciously competant with my energy and body.. Maybe even a little in my leadership.

I'll update more when I figure out a game plan for approaching the next session with 'Bug.
For now I have a few things to play with!

Feedback is welcome, readers! Let me know what you think.

Katieanne.